I sent wishes to the people who rejected me—here's why
Yesterday I did something I wouldn't have done a year ago.
I sent New Year's wishes to my ex-business partners.
The same ones who told me: "There's not enough food for everyone anymore. We've decided to discontinue working with you."
It was a clean cut. Professional. Final.
My first instinct? Don't reach out. Why wish them well if they rejected me? Why open that door?
But I did it anyway.
The Inner Storm
Here's what I felt before I sent it: A tightness in my chest. A voice saying this is weak, this is needy, this is you trying to fix something that's already broken.
And underneath that? Something else. A question I couldn't quite name.
Because the truth was: they had mattered. They had shaped me. The rejection had taught me something. And that teaching was still alive in me, whether they knew it or not.
The contradiction was sharp: I was supposed to move on, to build something new, to prove I didn't need them. And yet, sending those wishes felt like the most honest thing I could do.
The Turning Point
Then I read something that changed how I understood what I was doing.
An article about reconnection. It proposed something radical: contact three people who shaped your life. Not to fix the past. To acknowledge it still exists.
And it divided them into three categories:
- Someone you hurt
- Someone who hurt you
- Someone you underestimated
I realized: my ex-partners were all three.
I had hurt them, maybe through my limitations, my absence, or my authority. They had hurt me through their rejection. And perhaps I had underestimated them—their constraints, their fears, their own struggle.
But beyond those categories was a simpler truth: Reconnection isn't about reconciliation. It's about presence. It's saying: "You mattered. You shaped who I am. Even though we took different paths."
The Embodied Practice
Here's what I'm learning to do. And what I'm inviting you to do:
Identify three people. One you may have hurt. One who may have hurt you. One you underestimated.
Then reach out. Not to resolve anything. Not to get a response. Not to prove you're evolved or spiritual.
Simply to say: "You mattered."
It can be a message. A call. A letter. Something like: "I've been thinking about you. I wanted you to know that you shaped who I am. Even if we don't speak again, that's true."
Don't wait for the perfect words. The gesture itself is the practice.
The Invitation
The ultimate goal of reconnection isn't to go backward.
It's to recognize that the past never really left. And that we can meet it again with the maturity we've gained.
Not as victims or villains. But as humans who shaped each other.
And who can choose to see each other again.
So here's my question for you:
Who have you lost touch with? Someone you hurt? Someone who hurt you? Someone you underestimated?
Reply with "Reconnect" and tell me their story. I want to know who shaped you.
With presence,
Pierre-Boris
