The Tipping Point (how to avoid stagnation and regression)

You’ve been there—heart pounding, feet glued to the pavement, staring down the unknown, daring yourself to move.

It’s that first jump out of a plane—your mind screams ‘stop,’ but you’re already at the edge.

That moment, where every fiber of your being vibrates with anticipation, fear, and excitement—that’s the tipping point.

It’s where life dares you to take a step forward into the unfamiliar, into a new way of being. If you don’t move, you’re not just stuck—you’re trapped, locked in the prison of your own comfort zone, watching your potential slip away.

What’s got you stuck—fear, comfort, or the lies you keep repeating about who you think you are?

The Anatomy of Change

Margaret Wheatley breaks down change into three phases. This isn’t just theory—it’s the playbook for stepping into the future:

1. The Primary (Where You Are Now): This is your current reality, your comfort zone, where everything is predictable but stagnant.

2. The Edge (The Tipping Point): This is the point of decision, full of symptoms and sensations—fear, excitement, and uncertainty. It’s where your old self meets the potential of your new self.

3. The Secondary (What Awaits You): This is the new reality that lies beyond the tipping point—a place where you’ve embodied transformation, not just thought about it.

But why does it matter?

Wheatley isn’t just handing you words; she’s showing you the line you’re standing on—right between the fear that’s holding you down and the future that’s waiting to pull you up.

It’s time to choose.

The edge? That’s where everything wakes up—the resistance, the fear, the thrill. It’s where you have to decide if you’re going to stay safe or step into your next level.

Let's be clear. If you don’t physically cross the edge, you’ll never experience what’s on the other side.

Thinking about change is like planning a skydive but never jumping.

Until it’s in your body, until you’ve felt the fear, the leap, and the freedom of the fall, you haven’t truly changed.

The Edge: Why It Feels So Uncomfortable

Standing at the tipping point can feel like walking a tightrope over a chasm. Every step forward brings a surge of resistance, a voice in your head whispering, “Turn back. Stay safe.”

In a recent conversation with a client (let's call him Alex), we discussed this specific moment: when the tipping point hits limiting beliefs. Even when you truly desire a future situation, e.g., becoming confident, limiting beliefs emerge, and you feel stuck.

"No, I can't.", he says.

Alex and his brother are in the thick of separating their business, but the real tension is deeper—it's not just about assets; it’s about brotherhood, trust, and feeling cornered.

Alex is torn—on one side, the deal he’s desperate to win; on the other, the fear that empathy could rip control out of his hands. It’s not just business; it’s the battle between who he is now and who he’s afraid to become.

When Alex stepped into his brother’s shoes, he didn’t just see fear—he felt it. Fear of being pushed out, of losing not just a business, but a bond.

You see, the street you’re on is familiar.

And the known is associated with your current identity.

When it is about real transformation, you will feel stuck just because it feels secure, even though it is uncomfortable.

Your old identity tells you it's impossible.

And she gives you good reasons for it: for Alex, it seemed like he was betraying himself.

Spinoza reminds us that “all things strive to persist in their being.” Your current state wants to stay as it is, even if it’s no longer serving you. 

The discomfort you feel at the edge is your old identity, fighting to stay alive. It knows once you step forward, it loses.

It’s the familiar tug of the known, even if it’s uncomfortable, versus the fear of the unknown.

Still think you're not ready?

Crossing the Tipping Point: The Process

Crossing the edge isn’t about courage. It’s about becoming who you’re meant to be—before it’s too late.

Here’s how you can navigate this powerful transition:

1. Embrace the symptoms

The fear, anxiety, or even excitement you feel?

These are signs that you’re on the brink of transformation.

Instead of seeing them as roadblocks, see them as guides.

They are your body’s way of alerting you to the significance of the moment.

As Wheatley says, every significant change is preceded by a phase of turbulence and confusion.

Recognize these symptoms as part of the process.

2. Change the context

Your environment can either hold you back or propel you forward.

Think of Malcolm Gladwell’s “Power of Context.”

Small changes in your surroundings can have a huge impact on your ability to change.

Surround yourself with people who embody the change you seek.

Adjust your routines, your space, even your daily habits to support your new identity.

The right context makes the leap across the tipping point less daunting.

3. Engage with key influencers

Gladwell’s “Law of the Few” suggests that certain people have a disproportionate impact on the spread of ideas and behaviors.

In your life, identify those key influencers—mentors, coaches, or even friends—who can support your transition.

These are the people who will hold your hand as you teeter on the edge and nudge you forward when you hesitate.

4. Reframe the fear

Remember how Gandhi turned prison into a university?

This shift in perception is everything.

What if the fear you’re feeling isn’t a warning to stop but an invitation to grow?

Krishnamurti teaches that seeing things as they are, without judgment, allows us to embrace our current experience fully.

Ask yourself, “What if this fear is exactly what I need to feel right now?”

Reframing your fear transforms it from an obstacle into an ally.

5. Embody the change

Change isn’t just a mental exercise—it’s a physical, emotional, and spiritual practice.

Real transformation happens when we move beyond intellectual understanding and make the new behavior part of who we are.

Practice embodying your new identity daily.

If you’re crossing into a state of greater confidence, walk, speak, and act as if you are already that confident version of yourself.

Feel it in your body, your breath, your presence.

This is the real shortcut—becoming, not just doing.

The Invitation

Crossing the tipping point isn’t about forcing yourself into a new reality. It’s about allowing yourself to evolve into it. It’s about feeling the fear and excitement, recognizing the signs, and stepping forward anyway.

It’s not only about action—it’s about being.

You don’t need more knowledge. You need to decide. Wheatley gives you the map, but the leap? That’s all on you. The tipping point is here—it’s right in front of you.

You’re already at the edge. Step forward, or stay locked in your old self forever. You decide.

Nobody needs coaching, but some might want it (check some of my clients' praise).

The tipping point isn’t ahead. It’s here. Right now.

Step or stay stuck—it’s your call.